I Will Never Be Your Bride

I know what is in store for me
I know what is the reason
these bruises on my skin
from white
to purples and the blues,
swirls of red.

I walk slowly up the stairs

Step by step I feel it,
my heart,
the sound of horses hooves
against hard dirt.

Step by step I feel it,
This excitement like hand
pressed to my back,
pushing me forward

Tomorrow I will feel it
when someone hugs me,
skin pressing my skin,
I'll be reminded of you.

Tomorrow I will feel it
when I have to sit slowly
consciously remember
to watch where I am walking
But who has time for that?
I will bump into things
I want to be reminded of you.

All these dull evocations.

Still
I will never bring you home to my mother,
I will never be your bride.